Space junk will not be swept away by a colossal orbital vacuum; that fantasy ignores basic physics. Vacuum cleaners work by exploiting air pressure differences, but low Earth orbit is already near vacuum, with no dense medium to push debris toward a nozzle, no floor to roll across, and no practical way to corral objects flying at hypersonic velocity.
More honest is the idea that Earth already owns the only cleaner that matters: its upper atmosphere. Tiny as the residual gas is, it creates atmospheric drag, which robs satellites and fragments of orbital energy and steadily lowers their altitude. Once debris dips deep enough, aerodynamic heating tears it apart, converting metal and composites into plasma and trace particles instead of leaving them as shrapnel on repeat.
The smarter engineering bet, then, is not suction but choreography. Concepts from ion propulsion to magnetic tethers seek only to change velocity by a few meters per second, just enough to shift orbital inclination or reduce perigee so drag can take over. That small delta-v is far cheaper in mass and power than any spacecraft big enough to swallow wreckage, and it scales better than a flying scrapyard ever could.
